The truth

Its always hard to tell people the truth. Especially when the truth is really harsh. I had to tell the girl angela that my ex was seeing that he was well saying things to me like he loved me and blah blah blah. I really didn't want to watch him hurt anyone else. I know she appriciated it but still i mean its never fun to hear that your boyfriend is cheating on you.


Sometimes at night I think about my life (taht sounds like i'm depressed or something) and i think about what i want what i have and what i need. i dont have all i want but i do have all i need. So why then when i am walking through the mall is it that all i can say or thing is "i want I want I want?" I feel selfish and controlling.

I also thiunk about all my friends. its hard enough to miss them let alone fight with them. my one friend...molly. She goes to a different highschool then me and made a whole bunch of new friends. I like that its cool and all but them she decided not to call or hang out with me...FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS. What did she expect a welcoming commitee after deserting her friends. So when she did start to talk to me i was bitter. So bitter then i really didn't care what the hell she did anymore. She could go around with anyguy she wanted and i didn't care and i hated her. still do, buyt then she goes and maked out with a friend of mines boyfriend. she gets caught shirt off and everything. Ugh then when i telll her i am not gonna stand up for her SHE GETS MAD AT ME becuas ei am not being their for her. Well if she would stop pulling that shit she wouldn't need me. In short i havent talked to her in 2 weeks and i could care less. usually when we fight i crack after 12 days but now i feel nothing for her becuase she could no longer need me and when that happens you fill up with bitter and don't care about those who left you behind no more.

Mr. Ryan EricksonBoys...school...life.

Sometimes i hate me. Not becuas i think i'm ugly or anything or because i don't like my life but because of what i do. This weekend my EX boyfriend Ryan started talking to me about how he loved me. (blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) and well i totally fell for him as i usually do. I was about to go and meet him and knowing ryan things would get really intense. and then i realized HE WAS DATING ANOTHER GIRL! ugh and you know i am not sad because i don't wanna talk to him or see him but i am sad because of what i almost did to that poor girl he was dating. I mean come on why would i go back to him? HE IS SCUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM the whold reason he is my ex is because he CHEATED on me in the first place and i almost let him cheat on another girl. I feel so stupid for falling him again. haha but on the other hand i feel better cause i sent the girl he is STILL with an message telling her that he is bad and that he lies and cheats but whatever i don't care casue i am done forever.



School is so boring and being a freshman is really scary seeing as i"m still new to the whole highschool thing. Its...intense and huge and i feel really small and lonly sometimes. I had to leave all my middle school friends behind and that was really hard cause i lloved em all so much! And the work is hard to i have done some algebra before but my algebra teacher now SUX! she doesnt know how to teach. I am so sick of her the only teachers i like are my bio teacher and my band teacher. The bio teacher is pregnant though so she"ll only be here till january.


I really hope I dont sound like a whiny baby although half the people on this site do. Well this is blog 1. Follow me people! <3